she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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