I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she smelled like a LAN party
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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