My balls are so social today.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
