Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
