Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
