then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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