i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She told me I should be a condom model.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
