Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
