he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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