She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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