he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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