My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im six kinds of drunk right now
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
