So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
