I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize