Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
