...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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