Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
