The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
