I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
