Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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