i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
