she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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