I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
