did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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