we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
