a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
