READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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