I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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