I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize