I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No subtext here. People are naked.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
