I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
