I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
