Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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