Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize