And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
