I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
