Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
