we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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