Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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