The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
