I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize