Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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