he puts the penis in happiness.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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