i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
