I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
