Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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