i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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