Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
