woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
