3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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