So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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