I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My hand turned me down
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
