I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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