Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
