fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
