And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
