Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
