Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
