im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize