i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
