the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You ruined the universe
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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