Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize